This is the first semester in my college career that I withdrew from a class near the middle of the semester.
Suffice to say, it feels really odd. I hadn’t even considered how liberating it is to not have to worry about a class that you know you just don’t get.
And you know what? I tried. That class was touching on a subject I knew very little about, and it wasn’t helping that I did not come from the same math background as the others in my class had. Sequential calculus? I barely got through regular calculus understanding what I was learning.
At least classes for the spring are on the course scheduler so I can plan what to take for next semester… I hope I can take at least one online class.
So I have this really horrible tendency to be completely lackadaisical at the beginning of every school semester, right up until I start taking midterms. Then I’ll completely and utterly fail, or come so close to failing that first quiz/exam that it scares me into straightening up. And then I force myself to play catch-up, hopelessly chasing after that A I was so determined to earn before the semester even started.
I’m not exactly sure why I do this or how to break this habit. To be honest, I’ve just accepted the fact that I will always be a slacker until reality comes crashing down on me. From then on, it’s just an uphill battle for the rest of the semester.
I’ve been toying with the idea of creating my own YouTube channel for years now. And while I haven’t gotten anywhere with it, I figure it’s high time I start. With me halfway through the second semester of my third year in college, I’m just anticipating all the free time I’ll have not studying or doing homework.
I realize that, in the midst of planning, I have this terrible habit of limiting myself. There’s very little I would love to do more than creating YouTube content for others’ enjoyment, but for some reason, I always try to bring myself down and stop all gears, so to speak. I worry that people won’t like my videos. Even worse, I fear that they will accuse me of being branded with the stigma of a “girl gamer”.
See, here I go again. I can’t rid myself of this bad habit I’ve got. The only thing I can even try to do is to go forth and make that gaming channel… right?
The coolest thing for me is when I meet people who share(d) the same academic enthusiasm for dying subjects like philosophy. Dylan and I took the train heading north back home, and there were hardly any seats left on the busy 6:16 train from New Brunswick to New York Penn Station, so we shared seats with this older woman who was texting on her phone.
I started reading my Philosophy of Mind book and got into a conversation with Dylan about our Intro Existentialism class. It was the usual bitch-and-moan complaints from me– you know, ignorant people with undeveloped ideas. And the woman we were sitting with, only until we were 10-15 minutes away from Newark Penn, asked us if we were philosophy majors.
Turns out that she majored in philosophy and was accepted into law school after her undergrad. But she wanted to get married and decided to do so instead of continuing school. Her parents were pissed, needless to say, and they disowned her for some time.
The funny thing is, this woman, after some years of marrying her husband, went back to school and got her Masters in computer science, which was great for her since she took logic courses in her undergrad.
It was so uncanny that the situation this woman faced was similar to mine and Dylan’s. She was a young woman, just turned 21, and married young. But the best thing was that she mentioned her husband after she discovered that colleges still used blue books for testing.
I love the fact that this woman, who we had just met on the train, shared her mini-life story with us. Because, you know, not everyone has to marry within the “right” age range.
A lot of people say that creating resolutions are futile. But you know what? I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with setting goals for yourself in the coming year.
So here’s what I plan on doing: eating healthier, exercising more, writing more, reading even more, and overall, enjoying life more.
Cheers to you all! I hope you all plan on having as great a year.